Reasons why Pyramid Head Does Not Like Oranges
by deadcell
Summary: Pyramid Head. Kitchen appliances. Oranges. James mistakes Pyramid Head for something else. Mass hijinxs ensue.


**Author's Notes (as of 5/1/2011):**

First of all, this fic contains **MAJOR SPOILERS** if you haven't completed the game.**  
**

I wrote this story sometime in 2000 I think, and apparently people still read it, which is pretty awesome. Someone even did a piece of a fan art (the link is in my user profile)! Anyway, I've left this story in its original form. Thanks to any readers for the continued feedback. :]

**Reasons Why Pyramid Head Does Not Like Oranges**

James Sunderland wandered wearily through the corridors of the Wood Side apartments, wondering how the hell he got there in the first place. Not to Silent Hill-he knew why he was there, he had to find Mary-but how would he know that the town had changed so much? Now he was wandering through this hellish building, scared out of his mind and encountering atrocities at every turn. He couldn't make sense of any of it. _I'm going crazy_, he kept thinking to himself. _I really am._

His throat ached with the dryness of thirst and he found himself wishing for the juice that he had found a while back. He had used it to knock an item out of a garbage chute, but he didn't feel like going back to find it. Not if it meant staying in this hellhole any longer than he had to. Besides, he had never liked the canned stuff anyway.

He suddenly remembered that he had put some fruit into his pockets before he left, in case he got hungry. He dug into his coat pocket and felt two round objects; pulling them out he realized with delight that they were oranges.

He paused in the hallway, wondering what he should do with them. _Maybe I could find some more food in one of the rooms,_ he thought to himself. _Although, perhaps I really shouldn't eat anything that I find in this place..._ he shrugged his shoulders and decided to take a chance. The thought of food had made his stomach rumble.

He drew his gun and held it steady as he prepared to enter one of the rooms. He put the oranges back in his pocket for the time being and approached the door cautiously, his heartbeat quickening as he thought of what might await him in the room.

Meanwhile, in the room, an argument was taking place.

"Get off me! Can't you pick on something your own size?" yelled the four-legged mannequin monster. Poking at it with a stick was Pyramid Head, his expressionless slab of a face preventing him from showing his boredom.

"You deserve to be picked on! I'm here to torment, remember?" Pyramid Head raised the stick to hit the mannequin, but it knocked it from his hand with a well-placed kick. It sprung to two of its feet and ran towards the door. Pyramid Head sighed. "For the love of Samael, there's nothing to do around here!" he crossed his arms, and, if he had a face, it would have shown a pathetic pout.

"Shutup, someone's coming!" said the mannequin.

"Who? Who?" Pyramid Head scrambled over to the kitchen counter where he had left his enormous knife. He picked it up and held it at the ready, giggling in glee.

"I'm not sure... can't you sense it?"

Pyramid Head thought hard for a second. He felt a tingling. "Actually, I feel kind of in the mood... you're pretty sexy, you know that?" he said to the Mannequin.

"You idiot! Sense who it is! That tingle means nothing besides the fact that someone's near."

A voice boomed out in Pyramid Head's head, for his ears alone. "PYRAMID HEAD! THIS IS NO TIME FOR BEING HORNY! JAMES SUNDERLAND IS COMING! REMEMBER I TOLD YOU ABOUT HIM? THE DELUSIONAL ONE!"

"Oh! Yes Master Samael! I remember. Wife-killer! What a dick. I'll get him, just you wait! I'll go hide and wait to pounce!" he said excitedly, brandishing his knife at noone in particular.

The Mannequin opened the door slowly as Pyramid Head spoke, trying to get out without being noticed. _I don't know who's worse, that James guy or Pyramid Head. They're both nutty._

The door began to open as James reached for it, and he shrunk back in fear, holding the gun at the ready with trembling hands. His radio started to react softly, and the door creaked open slowly towards him. He backed up a few steps, dreading what might come out as the radio static grew louder.

His heart almost stopped beating as a four-legged mannequin monster shot out of the room, running at top speed away from him down the hall. He fired off two awkward shots; they went nowhere near his target. _Nevermind,_ he thought as it disappeared around a corner. _It's not after me. I have to calm down._ But James hated those dreaded monsters; he didn't know what was worse, the bile-spewing humanoid creatures or those horribly creepy mannequins.

Now he approached the door again with caution, slipping around it to look in the room, still pointing his gun out ahead of him. The room was dark and silent, no movement was seen. His radio had died down and remained silent-the coast was clear.

He walked into the room and shut the door behind him, his flashlight enough to comfortably light up the small room. He put his gun away and went into the kitchen, hoping he could find something to eat. Unfortunately the refrigerator was empty, but James had expected that.

He was about to begin peeling the orange when he caught sight of an odd contraption in the corner. It was surrounded by boxes and it was placed between the countertop and the garbage pail. A large point, its sides sloping down like a triangle, stuck up about as high as James's hip.

_What a strange juicer!_ James thought. _Oh well. I might as well use it._ He opened the cabinet and took out a glass, and took a knife from the drawer. He cut the orange in half and went over to the triangular thing, pressing the orange down on the point. The juice spilled down the slope and James held his glass out to catch it.

Suddenly the triangle began to move. James leaped back and dropped his glass and the orange half in horror as it rose up, standing. The boxes surrounding it were shoved aside and a hideous creature stood facing him, taller and stockier than he, with the body of a man and a hideous pyramid head. It shook it's head back and forth rapidly, spraying juice on the walls and onto James.

"AGHRHAGHAHARR! DAMMIT! What the hell do you think you're doing!" the creature yelled.

James was paralyzed by fear-but also by shock. The creature was speaking, but it didn't have a mouth. A growly voice emanated from it.

"Who-who are you?" James stammered.

"Who am I? WHO AM I? I'm Pyramid Head, you dolt! You should cower before me! COWER!" the creature clenched shaking fists. "How dare you, using me as a... as a... KITCHEN CONTRAPTION! I am the keeper of law and order around here! Choose your death! Hanging or skewering! Quick now!"

"I-I'm sorry!" James squealed, backing away. He tripped over some boxes and fell on his behind, his gun falling from his pocket and sliding out of his reach. The spare orange rolled out as well. "I just wanted some juice!"

"Oh, so that's what they call it nowadays. Some JUICE. I know what you wanted! You wanted your wife GONE, that's what you wanted! You-" Samael's voice boomed in Pyramid Head's head again. "PYRAMID HEAD! SHUT UP! SLOW TORMENT, SLOW TORMENT!"

"...What?" James asked, puzzled. "What do you know about me and my wife?" he growled angrily.

"Oh, hehe, nevermind!" Pyramid Head giggled. "Um, an orange I see! Why don't I cut that for you." from off of the floor behind him, Pyramid Head picked up his gigantic knife. James gasped at the size of it, trembling a bit wondering if Pyramid Head would strike.

"May I have your orange?" Pyramid Head asked, holding out a hand.

James picked up the orange that had rolled from his pocket and wordlessly handed it to Pyramid Head.

"Alright then," said Pyramid Head, cutting it daintily into four segments with the huge knife. "Let's get things straight. My name is Pyramid Head, and I run things around here." _Slow torment_, he thought. _How do I do that? Oh I know!_

"Say... are you really hungry?" Pyramid Head asked.

"Yes, actually... may I please have the orange? Unless you'd want a piece too."

"HUNGRY ARE YOU! WELL TOO BAD!" Pyramid Head laughed hysterically as the orange segements disintegrated into dust in his hands.

James stood. "What the hell are you doing? I said I was hungry!"

"I know! Isn't that great? I am tormenting you! SLOWLY!" Pyramid Head snorted as he laughed.

"No, actually you just look like an idiot," James mumbled.

"FOOL! How dare you!" Pyramid Head raised his giant knife and stepped towards James, then caught himself. _I can't kill him yet,_ he thought.

James ducked to the floor and grabbed his gun, pointing it a Pyramid Head. "D-d-don't move, d-demon!" James stammered.

"D-D-D-DUH!" Pyramid Head mocked. He laughed. "You can't destroy me with that thing! Go ahead and try."

James fired a shot at Pyramid Head. He heard a dull clunk as the bullet hit. Pyramid Head laughed. "See? I told you! No use!"

James's stomach began to churn with fear as his heartbeat quickened. He fired off shot after shot with trembling hands as Pyramid laughed and slowly advanced. There was a dull clunk as each shot hit home, but Pyramid Head was not affected.

"I told you, James! You can't kill me with that!"

"How do you know my name?" James demanded in fear.

_Slow torment!_ "I know lots of things about you, James... so many things! And I will torture you with them... I know the truth... and you will pay for it!"

James stepped back again. "What's my favorite color?" he asked.

Pyramid Head thought for a second. He didn't know. "Umm... blue?"

"NO! GREEN! HAHA!"

"FOOL! HOW DARE YOU! I don't waste my time with things like COLORS! Look at me, my head is a brown triangle! Do I care? You and your... GREEN jacket! Such idiocy!"

"Well, you said you knew a lot of things about me," James said smugly.

"I know a lot about Mary as well, James," Pyramid Head responded slyly.

"What do you know about Mary? Is she here?" James stepped closer to Pyramid Head, a look of emotional anguish on his face. He continue to plead. "Please tell me, I love her, I need to find her!"

"Perhaps she's dead... perhaps not... perhaps she's suffering... you'll see..."

"If you did anything to hurt her I'll kill you!" James growled.

Pyramid Head laughed again. "With what? That stupid gun? Go right ahead, putrid human!"

James began firing shots again in anger at Pyramid Head. They hit one by one, and Pyramid Head just laughed and laughed. James's gun clicked, empty. Pyramid Head took the chance to strike some fear into his victim and tried to raise his knife.

"Uh..." Pyramid Head tried to raise it again, realizing that his body was wracked with pain. "Er, hold on a sec..." he tried to move his feet, and instead had to limp and stagger in pain. "Ow! What the hell!"

Samael's voice boomed in his head again. "YOU IDIOT! OF COURSE HE CAN'T KILL YOU WITH **THAT** GUN, BUT HE CAN WEAKEN YOU! GET OUT OF THERE!"

"Y-yes master!" Pyramid Head stammered, and limped past James, dragging his knife. "Er, I'll um, see you around! And I will torment you! HAHAHAHAHouch!"

James watched, puzzled, as the giant hideous monster limped away towards the door, occasionally vocalizing his pain. The monster opened the door and turned to say one last thing to James.

"Until we meet again... farewell! MWAHAHAHA!" the door closed on Pyramid Head's laughter as he left. James heard the heavy footsteps of the monster as it shuffled away in the outside hall, occasionally yelling an obscenity at the pain.

James sighed and reloaded his gun. _Now what do I do,_ he thought. He remembered the other half of the orange that he had tried to juice, and he retrieved it and began to eat.

"Damn," he mused aloud, "This place is even stranger than I thought."


End file.
